I’m not looking for answers — just a few quiet gifts
Title: What I Hope This Walk Will Give Me
Subtitle: I’m not looking for answers — just a few quiet gifts
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🎵 Song of the Day
“Pilgrim” – Enya
A haunting, sacred melody for the soul on the edge of the unknown.
Enya’s voice drifts like a prayer — full of longing, surrender, and quiet courage.
“Pilgrim, how you journey on the road you chose…”
🎧 Listen here
Let it be the backdrop for today’s thoughts — a song to walk alongside as the journey nears.
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It’s 2 days to go.
On Monday, I begin the Portuguese Camino — a 600km journey I never planned to take, and yet, now can’t imagine not doing.
Angé died three weeks ago. The silence she left behind still echoes through every part of my day. And as I stand at the edge of this pilgrimage, I’m not looking for solutions. I’m walking with questions.
But if this Camino gives me anything — here’s what I hope for:
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🌻 1. A Perspective on Mourning — A Way to Remember Without the Pain
I want to understand mourning differently.
Not just as a wave of sorrow that hits without warning — but as a quieter, more sacred space.
A place where memory doesn’t hurt so sharply.
A way to remember Angé without flinching.
Maybe the Camino will teach me that grief isn’t something to escape, but something to soften.
That mourning can become a gentle ritual — not a wound, but a witness.
That even in sorrow, there can be peace.
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🌻 2. A Quiet Sense of Peace
Not peace as in “moving on.”
Just enough peace to sit still with the loss and not feel overwhelmed.
To breathe without bracing.
A peace found in the sound of footsteps. In conversations with strangers. In watching a sunrise Angé will never see, but somehow will.
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🌻 3. A Start for the Angé for Sunflowers Movement
This walk is also a beginning — not just of a journey, but of a movement.
Angé believed in kindness. In quiet beauty. In love that ripples outward.
That’s what this project is about:
🌻 Planting sunflowers.
📸 Capturing moments of memory.
📝 Sharing the stories of those we’ve lost.
The Camino is where this movement begins — one flower, one story, one step at a time.
👉 angeforsunflowers.com
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🌻 4. A Vague, Gentle Sense of Direction
Right now, everything feels uncertain.
I’m functioning — writing, planning, sharing — but directionless.
I hope the Camino gives me something loose but grounding.
Not a full plan. Just a sense of “this is the next right thing.”
Even a whisper would be enough.
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🌻 5. A Tentative Six-Month Horizon
By the time I reach Santiago, I’d love to have:
• A rhythm to keep Angé for Sunflowers alive.
• A way to balance grief and meaning.
• A slow return to work and relationships, without pretending I’m fine.
• A path toward joy, even if it feels out of reach right now.
I don’t expect a roadmap. Just a sketch. A light on the path ahead.
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🌻 Walking Forward
This Camino isn’t about fixing grief.
It’s about walking with it.
Giving it space. Letting it breathe.
And maybe — just maybe — it’s about learning how to live again, not instead of Angé, but alongside her memory.
What I want, more than anything, is to be able to go places… and know that being there is okay.
To enjoy the view. The conversation. The meal.
Even though Angé isn’t next to me.
Not because I’ve forgotten her.
But because I’ve made peace with carrying her in a different way.
I want the joy of the moment to be real — not swallowed by absence.
I want to laugh, and not feel guilty for it.
I want to be fully in life again, even if part of me will always ache.
That’s what I’m walking toward.
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🌻 Join Me
If you’ve lost someone — and carry their memory forward — you’re invited to walk in your own way:
🌻 Plant a sunflower
📸 Capture the moment
📝 Share your story
👉 angeforsunflowers.com
📲 Join the WhatsApp journey:
👉 Click to join
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Buen Camino.
Ian 🌻👣
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