“What a beautiful sunset.”
There’s something powerful about the closing of a day.
The way the light lingers before it slips away.
The way the colours shift — not suddenly, but gently, giving us time to say goodbye.
That’s what this chapter is. A goodbye to the rawness. A goodbye to being defined by loss. Not the end of the mourning journey — but the moment you start speaking again from who you are becoming, not just who you’ve lost.
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Why Your Elevator Speech Matters After Loss
Sooner or later, someone will turn to you at a dinner table, on a walk, or at a work function and say:
“So, tell me a little about yourself.”
Before your loss, that question may have been easy to answer.
Now? It might stop you in your tracks.
Do you lead with the grief?
Do you tell them that your heart was cracked open by someone you loved and lost?
Maybe not.
Not because you’re hiding it. But because the moment doesn’t always call for that part of the story. Because sometimes, you want to introduce yourself — not your pain. Because sometimes, you just want to belong in a new conversation without the room shifting into sympathy or silence.
This is where the idea of an elevator speech comes in.
It’s a short, confident, authentic introduction. Something that says:
“Here I am. Here’s what I care about. Here’s what I’m working on. And I’d love to talk about it.”
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From “I Am in Mourning” to “This Is Me”
When loss comes — whether it’s the death of a partner, parent, child, sibling, close friend, or even the end of a relationship, career, or long-held dream — it can take over the way you see yourself, and the way others see you.
“I’m in mourning.”
“I’m grieving.”
“I’ve just lost someone.”
All true. All important. But those words can start to feel like your only introduction to the world.
It’s not that you should hide the truth — it’s that you are more than the loss you’ve carried.
What about the part of you that’s learning a new skill?
Or rediscovering an old hobby?
Or showing up for causes you believe in, walking in nature, finding comfort in cooking, reading, or music?
What about the small acts of care you give to others, or the quiet strength you’re finding in simply getting through each day?
Those parts are just as real — and just as worthy of being named.
Shifting from “I am in mourning” to “This is me” doesn’t erase the grief.
It makes space for the rest of your life to stand alongside it.
Your elevator speech is the moment to let that fuller picture speak.
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What a Good Elevator Speech Does
• ✅ It gives people a hook to respond to.
• ✅ It opens up conversation rather than shutting it down.
• ✅ It reflects who you are becoming, not just who you were.
• ✅ It keeps you from leading with sadness in every first encounter.
• ✅ It respects your grief without letting it be your full identity.
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5 Tips to Help You Write Your Elevator Speech
Here are five grounded, practical steps for crafting your new elevator speech — one that honours your journey and helps you step into the future.
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1. Lead with Life, Not Loss
When someone asks, “What do you do?” or “Tell me about yourself,” don’t start with what you’ve been through. Start with what you’re stepping into.
✅ “I’m training for my first half-marathon next year.”
✅ “I’ve just signed up for a photography course — I’m loving learning how to capture light.”
✅ “I’m building a vegetable garden at home and trying to grow everything from seed.”
✅ “I’m planning a small-group hiking trip through the Drakensberg in spring.”
✅ “I’ve been experimenting with new recipes every weekend — I’m aiming to host a dinner party with all my favourites.”
✅ “I’m working on launching my own podcast about inspiring everyday stories.”
✅ “I’m learning Italian because I want to spend a month in Tuscany next year.”
These kinds of answers light up a conversation. They tell people that you’re curious, active, and looking ahead.
They also give them an easy way to connect with you — “Oh, I’ve always wanted to learn photography!” or “I hiked in the Drakensberg last year — you’ll love it.”
🚫 Avoid: “I’m just getting by” or “I’m still figuring things out.”
While true, they don’t spark curiosity or energy. You can always talk about the deeper layers later, once you’ve built a connection — but your opening line is the moment to show you’re living forward.
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2. Include Something You’re Passionate About
Grief often strips away excitement. So when you do rediscover something you care about, name it. Make it part of how you introduce yourself.
“I’ve become really interested in the psychology of resilience and I’m exploring that through writing and conversation.”
“I’ve started volunteering at a community garden. It’s helped bring some peace into my life.”
Passion is magnetic. Even quiet passions. They make people lean in. And they remind you that you still care about things — even in mourning.
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3. Give People a Hook
The best elevator speeches give people something to ask about.
It could be:
• “I’m learning to make fresh pasta from scratch.”
• “I’m creating a small art space at home where I can paint on weekends.”
• “I’m putting together a road trip itinerary for the Garden Route this summer.”
Hooks don’t have to be big. Just human. They turn small talk into real talk.
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4. Be Honest, But Not Overwhelming
Yes, you can acknowledge the reality of your life right now — without letting it be the centre of your identity.
Try:
“I’ve had a busy few months, but I’m enjoying building a new rhythm.”
“I’m in a season of change, and I’m finding ways to live with more purpose.”
This kind of honesty is refreshing. It’s not hiding the truth. It’s simply saying: I’m more than one part of my story.
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5. Practice and Polish It
The best elevator speeches don’t sound rehearsed — but they are practiced.
Say yours out loud.
Say it in the mirror.
Try it at the next social event.
Adjust it if it feels too forced or too vague.
You’re not trying to sell yourself. You’re simply trying to show up with clarity and openness.
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Examples to Try On
“Hi, I’m Ian. I’ve recently walked the Camino de Santiago and I’m planning my next long-distance hike in Europe. I also run a business that helps companies streamline their operations — and I’m always up for a good coffee conversation about new ideas.”
Or:
“I’m a writer and traveller exploring the connection between adventure and personal growth. Right now, I’m developing a series of creative workshops for small groups.”
Or:
“I’ve just finished a photography course and I’m working on a photo series of local landscapes. I’m also learning Italian because I want to spend a month in Tuscany next year.”
Or:
“I’m passionate about great food and great stories — I’m testing new recipes every weekend and hosting themed dinner nights for friends.”
Or:
“I’m training for my first half-marathon, and in between runs I’m working on launching a podcast that shares inspiring everyday stories.”
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Who Are You Becoming?
This isn’t about pretending you’re okay.
It’s about owning the fact that you’re becoming something new.
Even if you’re still in the fog. Even if you’re still aching.
Your elevator speech is a little flame you carry in your pocket.
It says:
“Here I am. I’ve lived through something real.
And I’m still living — and building — and dreaming.”
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Write Yours Now
Take a moment to write your own elevator speech.
Start with one line. Then add another.
Let it evolve. Let it surprise you.
Let it carry the weight of your story — and the light of your future.
And the next time someone turns to you and asks,
“So, tell me about yourself?”
Smile.
And answer from the sunset of your mourning — and the sunrise of your new self.
A Final Reflection: Because of Angé
Because of Angé, I never walk past a sunflower without smiling.
Because of Angé, I know what it means to love someone fiercely — and to keep loving them, even in absence.
Because of Angé, I started planting new seeds: in gardens, in stories, in people.
And because of her, I now introduce myself differently.
Not as someone who’s broken, but as someone who is growing again.
